This was never so clear to me after I sustained an injury and other health issues developed. I had moved to a new community and had all these plans I was looking forward to. Some of the plans were to simply relax and regroup after years of working with a lot of people.
I had so many more things I wanted to do. Instead, I end up in my new community isolated due to my injury and other health issues without having a chance to meet anyone new. My husband’s job kept him from being home a week at a time with limited contact. I didn’t want to worry family so I kept a lot of struggles to myself other than sharing with my husband. Having family worry would just stress me out. This was especially hard since my health issues I was developing had no real answers at the time. I had to learn to become my own advocate. Finally, I stopped pursuing help from conventional medicine and started doing my own research. Eventually I made my way to naturopathic care. This is where I finally started getting confirmations to my research along with other answers.
I was sick, searching for answers and finally treated in a period of 2 1/2 years. I wondered if I would ever get answers. I am a naturally optimistic person, although a realist, but I had my moments of struggle and feeling depressed through it all. I wondered at times if God had forgotten about me and if I would ever get better. I’ve gone through some real trials in my life, but this was probably one of the hardest. There were times I wanted to sleep and not wake up. I just wanted peace and the suffering to stop. It wasn’t a matter of feeling sorry for myself. It was a very real struggle. Our health is everything and when you aren’t getting answers, it adds to the stress. At times I was in a very dark place.
Fortunately I didn’t give up. I was determined to get answers and better. I was proactive and did many things to help myself. Besides doing my research, I sought out support groups, a counselor to help me cope, worked hard on changing my diet, incorporated regular exercise and meditation, and focused on the things that gave me a sense of joy and purpose.
I had mixed feelings even after my health finally improved. I was grateful and yet unclear on what I was supposed to do next. At first I felt an urgency to make up for “lost time”. There were ideas running in my head about what I could do or what I should be doing. It was from a place of anxiety and of course no peace followed.
I realized that I needed to do what I’ve always known and done in the past. Stop doing! Simply be still and in the moment. Relax, breathe, disconnect my brain, and allow myself to simply listen.
There are different seasons in life and simply life that just happens. What are the lessons learned? How have I and how can I grow from this? How can my experiences be used to serve a greater purpose?
Sometimes things don’t work out as we had first planned, but I’ve been reminded to be grateful for what I do have, what I’ve learned through my trials and challenges, and appreciating that.
While I am “doing nothing” my life still has purpose and value. As I’ve learned from Iyanla Vanzant, sometimes we are simply in the meantime and the meantime isn’t necessarily a bad place to be. It can be a time to rest, heal, and learn something, although difficult, that will change our life and prepare us for something greater that’s to come.
In the meantime, I will trust and be grateful in the moment.
“So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life,
you just think about adding additional good things.
One at a time, Just let you pile of good things grow.”