Thuy Smith Outreach International- Living on Purpose

Health and Wellness, Mindfulness, Spirituality, Relationships, Lessons Learned, Recovery, Healing, Empowerment

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Recovery- what does it mean? We all could use a little recovery sometimes.

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Recovery- what does it mean? We all could use a little recovery sometimes.

When a person enters and works through recovery, they become a different person in some ways and yet in other ways remain the same. People begin to have more of a sense of self and are at peace with that, both the good and the “bad”.

Recovery is not always easy. Stopping the using was the “easy part”, but there is all the other work of self-reflection and forgiveness. Forgiveness is in some ways easier to have for others than it is for yourself.

What does recovery mean really? Well I feel first of all it doesn’t have to be a term referring only to people who have found or are seeking recovery from chemical dependency. It can apply to anyone. Anyone can use a “Recovery” from time to time.

Recovery to me means recovery of one’s self. In this way, don’t we all need to find this from time to time?

We lose ourselves when…………….
We don’t draw boundaries with people

When we don’t know how to say no

When we take on more than what is realistic and put too much expectation on ourselves

When we over extend ourselves for whatever reason

When we don’t own our truth and be willing to express- No, I don’t like that or I need this in my life right now

When we are not gentle and forgiving of ourselves

When we don’t take time to slow down to be in the moment and let our mind, body, and spirit rest

It can be easy to fall in any of these traps.

It’s good to not be selfish because that is not only an undesirable characteristic to have; it is never going to be sustainable. At the same time there is the other extreme. Sometimes people are so worried, especially women and all the more if they are mothers, that if they took care of some of their own needs they should feel ashamed of that.

One time I heard person say that “taking care of your self is not selfish, it is Self-full”. When we are full, we are more able to better take care of others, let alone ourselves.

In the end, we are all the same and wanting the same things- Love, to be heard, and know that we have value. So allow yourself permission to recover. We all need a little recovery sometimes. It’s OK and there is NO shame in it.


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Be Careful What You See- Today’s Reflection


Today’s Reflection- Be Careful What You See



con·fir·ma·tion bi·as

The tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one’s existing beliefs or theories.

Perfect Example:

Bus seats mistaken for burqas by members of anti-immigrant group –

She is a sweet and cute girl– who could be smiling to your face and then gossip up a storm behind your back

He looks like a bum. Get a job. – In actuality may be dealing with severe depression, other mental illness, and / or trauma yet would give the shirt off his back to someone who needed it.

He is dressed in a suit– must be highly successful, educated, and important, but in actuality could be a narcissistic scam artist and an asshole.

He has tattoos and colored spiked hair– must be a thug, but in actuality could be a compassionate humanitarian.

A black guy wearing a hoodie– can even be killed for it. Must be a thug / gang member

She is speaking in another language– must be illegal. Go back to your country. In actuality she is an American who was born here and is simply bilingual which isn’t illegal to be. Or someone who just migrated to the U.S. and is currently learning English.

She is young and attractive– this must be why she is successful. In actuality she is educated, dedicated, and worked hard to get where she is.

OR- She is young and attractive- must be brainless

She is young. What could she know. I’ve been on this earth much longer. – Wisdom doesn’t always comes through age.

You get the point- perceptions, stereotypes, confirmation biases, generalizations, prejudices, discrimination, racism, sexism, ageism, etc.

Things aren’t always as they seem…… Let’s continue to be mindful of this.

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Christianity Today- What would Jesus Say?

Jesus, whether you believe he is the son of God, a prophet, good teacher, or just a fictional character from history, etc., he is an example and a model of what we could all learn from on one level or another about forgiveness, love, compassion, mercy, etc…

Man, myth, God, whatever or whoever, went against the norms, broke the rules, and was either really hated or really loved……

Jesus was not hung up in titles, status, money, or positions. In fact he says……let the first be last and the last be first. He washed his disciples feet in the ultimate act of humility although he was their teacher. He recognized the woman who had little to give, but gave with all her heart versus the man who had much, but gave very little in comparison.

Did Jesus condone or enable wrong doing? Of course not. He encouraged and challenged people to turn from their ways. However, he was fair, balanced, tried to meet people where they were at in love, yet not afraid to point out at times denial and hypocrisy. Wrong doing is wrong doing. He was clear on that spreading gossip, malice, and slander was also just as wrong as other “sins”.

At the same time he was friends with and took time for those who would normally be marginalized then and in our world today including by many in the church. Jesus became friends with the prostitutes, the poor, the homeless, the mentally ill, the criminals from the least to the worst rich and poor, people with addictions, and so on.  He understood situations where people were unhealthy, hurting, spiritually lacking or even deprived. He wanted people to find peace and freedom within and reached out through love and example of what was possible rather than condemn and shame. He did not expect people to go and “clean themselves up” before they were acceptable for his kingdom,  in today’s world, church.

However, sometimes he did come down hard on the religious leaders of the time because they were professing to be the righteous, yet their actions were the opposite of, all the more of what a spiritual / religious leader should encompass………, peace, mercy, grace, compassion, tolerance. In fact, it was the religious leaders who were responsible for having Jesus crucified.

What if God came in disguise today as one of us? The “least” of any of us? Would those who say they believe have the heart of Jesus or at least pray to have the heart of Jesus?  If one were to fail, be willing to make amends that may be needed and from a place of all sincerity? When people see this, then they will know you are a Christian without you having to tell them.

Maybe some of you who read this do not profess to be a christian or is not sure if Jesus was real or whether he was a man, prophet, or otherwise. One thing that can be said, real or not, the Jesus that was just described here and throughout history, sure seems to be one cool dude.


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A Perfect Person

A Perfect Person

Never hurt anyone.  Doesn’t Cry.  Doesn’t fail.   Doesn’t Exist.

We all have some place where we fall short…..spiritual progress versus perfection.

Acknowledge, make amends if needed, learn, forgive yourself, move on……..GROW.

“Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person”.  Dr. David M. Burns