Thuy Smith Outreach International- Living on Purpose

Health and Wellness, Mindfulness, Spirituality, Relationships, Lessons Learned, Recovery, Healing, Empowerment


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Sometimes Life Takes A Different Turn Than What We Had Planned

 

This was never so clear to me after I sustained an injury and other health issues developed. I had moved to a new community and had all these plans I was looking forward to. Some of the plans were to simply relax and regroup after years of working with many people.

I had so many more things I wanted to do. Instead I end up in my new community isolated due to my injury and other health issues without having a chance to meet anyone new yet. My husband’s job kept him from being home a week at a time. I had limited contact with him during these times. I didn’t want to worry family so I kept a lot of struggles to myself other than sharing with my husband. My family would worry and then that would just stress me out. This was especially hard since my health issues I was developing had no real answers at the time. I had to learn to become my own advocate. Finally, I stopped pursuing help from conventional medicine and started doing my own research. Eventually I made my way to naturopathic care. This is where I finally started getting confirmations to my research along with other answers.

I was sick, searching for answers, and finally treated in a period of 2 1/2 years. I wondered at times if I would ever get answers and or get better. I am a naturally optimistic person, although a realist, but I had my moments of struggle and feeling depressed through it all. I wondered at times if God forgotten about me and if I would ever get better. I’ve gone through some real trials in my life but this was probably the hardest. There were times I just wanted to sleep and not wake up. I just wanted peace and the suffering to stop. It wasn’t a matter of feeling sorry for myself, it was a very real struggle. Your health is everything and when you aren’t getting answers, it adds to the stress. At times you are in a very dark place.

Fortunately I didn’t give up. I was determined to get answers, and better. I was proactive and did many things to help myself. Besides doing my research, I sought out support groups, a counselor to help me cope, worked hard on changing my diet and incorporated regular exercise and meditation, and focused on the things that gave me a sense of joy and purpose.

After my health finally improved, I had mixed feelings. I was grateful and yet unclear on what I was supposed to do next. At first I felt an urgency to make up for “lost time”.  There were ideas running in my head about what I could do, what I should do. Of course no real peace followed.

So, I have come to the point that I need to do what I’ve always known and done in the past. Stop doing! Simply be still, in the moment, and let my intuition and spirit speak to me. Breathe. Be grateful for where I’m at now compared to where I was.

There are different seasons in life and simply life that just happens. What are the lessons learned? How have I, how can I grow from this? How can what I’ve been through be used to serve a greater purpose?

And at the same time…. relax, sit back, disconnect my brain and allow myself to simply listen.

Sometimes things don’t work out as we had first planned, but I’ve been reminded to be grateful for what I do have, what I’ve learned through my trials and challenges and appreciating that.

While I am “doing nothing” my life still has purpose and value. Sometimes we are simply in the meantime and the meantime isn’t necessarily a bad place to be. It can be a time to rest, heal, and learn something, although difficult, that will change our life and prepare us for something greater that’s to come.

In the meantime, I will trust and be grateful in the moment.

“So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life,

you just think about adding additional good things.

One at a time, Just let you pile of good things grow.”

Author Unknown

 

 

 

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21 years of marriage and what have I learned so far………….

21 years of marriage and what have I learned so far

See the source image See the source image

Here are some reflections:

That my husband is truly my best friend.
We make each other better. We have a saying we use with each other, jokingly, I’m calling you on your crap! You know…..that’s what we need sometimes……someone who loves us enough to be patient, but also to call us on our crap! We also call it-keeping it real. I don’t want someone to just flatter me all the time, I don’t need an enabler, and passive aggressiveness just makes things worse. We encourage each other, but we also challenge each other; and when we are not happy about something, we simply tell each other.

I’m reminded of a quote I heard
Love people enough to tell them the truth and respect them enough to trust that they can handle it. – Iyanla

When it comes to others, although I believe in seeing the best in people, I also know not everyone has good intentions and your well-being in mind. We always understood the importance of boundaries, but had been too trusting initially with some people. People’s agenda and intention may not always be in the right place.

I’m reminded of another quote
“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few. Let those few be well-tried, before you give them your confidence”.
(President George Washington)

We don’t discuss the personal issues we may have with any of our family members. Sometimes a family member can be discerning and wise in a situation and actually add positively toward a solution. This could include guiding the person back to resolving it directly with the person they are having the problem with. Sometimes though going to a family member could cause more negative reinforcement. Family members meaning well, might be too quick to defend the one they are closest to or they might only be hearing one side of the story that could lead to an inaccurate judgment.

Nobody is perfect. Sometimes we just need to have grace with one another, sometimes we need to forgive.

Really, this could go with any of our relationships. Keeping them authentic is about being honest, but loving and respectful. Sometimes there may be unhealthy relationships you may need to let go of, maybe temporarily, maybe for good. We’ve had to do this with others ourselves. Not everything is black and white. It is something that takes constant discerning. Its lessons learned and learning that never stops…………….hopefully.


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Christianity Today- What would Jesus Say?

Jesus, whether you believe he is the son of God, a prophet, good teacher, or just a fictional character from history, etc., he is an example and a model of what we could all learn from on one level or another about forgiveness, love, compassion, mercy, etc…

Man, myth, God, whatever or whoever, went against the norms, broke the rules, and was either really hated or really loved……

Jesus was not hung up in titles, status, money, or positions. In fact he says……let the first be last and the last be first. He washed his disciples feet in the ultimate act of humility although he was their teacher. He recognized the woman who had little to give, but gave with all her heart versus the man who had much, but gave very little in comparison.

Did Jesus condone or enable wrong doing? Of course not. He encouraged and challenged people to turn from their ways. However, he was fair, balanced, tried to meet people where they were at in love, yet not afraid to point out at times denial and hypocrisy. Wrong doing is wrong doing. He was clear on that spreading gossip, malice, and slander was also just as wrong as other “sins”.

At the same time he was friends with and took time for those who would normally be marginalized then and in our world today including by many in the church. Jesus became friends with the prostitutes, the poor, the homeless, the mentally ill, the criminals from the least to the worst rich and poor, people with addictions, and so on.  He understood situations where people were unhealthy, hurting, spiritually lacking or even deprived. He wanted people to find peace and freedom within and reached out through love and example of what was possible rather than condemn and shame. He did not expect people to go and “clean themselves up” before they were acceptable for his kingdom,  in today’s world, church.

However, sometimes he did come down hard on the religious leaders of the time because they were professing to be the righteous, yet their actions were the opposite of, all the more of what a spiritual / religious leader should encompass………..love, peace, mercy, grace, compassion, tolerance. In fact, it was the religious leaders who were responsible for having Jesus crucified.

What if God came in disguise today as one of us? The “least” of any of us? Would those who say they believe have the heart of Jesus or at least pray to have the heart of Jesus?  If one were to fail, be willing to make amends that may be needed and from a place of all sincerity? When people see this, then they will know you are a Christian without you having to tell them.

Maybe some of you who read this do not profess to be a christian or is not sure if Jesus was real or whether he was a man, prophet, or otherwise. One thing that can be said, real or not, the Jesus that was just described here and throughout history, sure seems to be one cool dude.


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A Perfect Person

A Perfect Person

Never hurt anyone.  Doesn’t Cry.  Doesn’t fail.   Doesn’t Exist.

We all have some place where we fall short…..spiritual progress versus perfection.

Acknowledge, make amends if needed, learn, forgive yourself, move on……..GROW.

“Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person”.  Dr. David M. Burns


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Recidivism in Recovery, Our Emotions are not our enemy, although belief systems may be

 thuy smithFounder of TSOI
Former Director of AODA Recovery Facility serving five counties
Founder  and Producer of Teen Radio
Founder, Producer of The Thuy Smith Show

Recidivism in Recovery, Our Emotions are not our enemy, although belief systems may be

There are various reasons to why this might be. People may not be quite ready for the changes they need to make, also for a variety of reasons. It is scary to move away from what you always relied on, what was familiar even though it may not have served you well. Many times people are not even consciously aware that they are actually doing this. Belief systems that were created from different life experiences, many times from childhood, keep people stuck in various patterns that are self-defeating in their lives. A person can break free by challenging those belief systems, but first they have to be conscious of those patterns. Sometimes it takes time and opportunities come about to help bring those things to light. It can come through people, circumstances, or time alone in a place of quiet reflection. Writing is a great tool to help work out some of those past hurts and break down the belief systems that were formed from them. Art is another great way to get in touch and be able to express your feelings and process.

Does this mean that a person will no longer have moments of discouragement, sadness, fear, doubt, etc? Of course these things will always attempt to come in to try to detour us from our focus of moving ahead. Some emotions are part of the human experience of processing real pain and grief. Emotions do not have to be scary and this is one thing that keeps people from finding recovery. They are afraid of emotions. It can be out of guilt. Maybe they were taught that emotions are bad or emotions make you appear weak. They may believe they need to be “Strong” and on top of things. They are afraid of being judged and not respected anymore especially if they were once recognized as a leader. Maybe they were simply never allowed their emotions and the opportunity to process or express them. Shame is the underpinnings of these reasons and belief systems.

When I was working through various healing in my life, I had to throw all the shame aside and learn to embrace my emotions, allow them, and process them. From there I was able to explore those emotions, break them down, and then challenge the belief systems that were created from them.

God, a belief in a higher power, life’s lessons, or whatever you believe to find your peace, is gentle with the intention of helping us become free and to be all that we were ultimately meant to be. There are consequences that come with certain choices, but it is at the same time a teaching moment that can move us to the next level of consciousness and growth. If you do not get the break-through at first, the opportunity will come about again through another set of circumstances or people until we understand what we were supposed to.

Now, the biggest lesson I had to learn through some of my processes, is to simply be gentle with myself and patient with the process. Everyone can use a recovery in life from something so to speak.

For others with a chemical dependency issue, the drug and alcohol dependency or abuse is still the symptom of. Sure it complicates things more, but once you are off the drug, through time, your body is no longer at that moment physically addicted. What is left is the “stuff”. Stuff that was there before you developed the dependency, and ever since it became an issue. It is the stuff you need to get to or it is inevitable that you will either be back to using alcohol or other drugs in an abusive or dependent manner, become what is known as a dry drunk, or not experience the new freedom that come with the promises of recovery.

Life is still life, and people and challenges will continue for everyone. Nobody can go it alone. We all need somebody. There is never any shame in that.